Floating with boundary.

Tonight the sense of incapableness filled in my mind. I failed to write a good (and well, great) history essay. I spent one hour to write my introduction. I was quite lost. I can hardly see the land ahead, let alone the promised land - I am floating in the sea, looking over the sky, and having no clue what to do. I thought I could be material of UCL or at least, top five universities. But now, though I tried hard to suppress the thought that I was wrong, stupid and slow, I could hardly find a reason to dissuade me that was not persuasive.

I did a few things this weekend. To sum up, I didn't make very good use of my time this weekend, but I did do some revision, though not as hard as last few weeks. I keep revising and reading new stuff. I mired in the predicament of writing and I could hardly breathe. I need to sleep. I dont really know what to do, apart from working harder and harder and pushing myself more and more to the corner, I have to admit that the no progress dilemma had defeated deeply my morale and motivation to work harder, meantime I am really tired. I want a break. No I shouldnt. I nned to sleep. Good night. Hope things will soon get better...