A battle to insist.

I can only content with discontent today. Unbelievably there was a flash - just a flash of whim enticing me to give up. The situation is challenging, I have to admit. I got a B minus today in my essay and a straight grade B in politics. Only a month left before the exam, I must get an A. And the problem is I find immensely difficult to upgrade my writings on the whole of my subjects. I did try my best to write my english literature essay but the result was disaster. I get stuck in a stalemate, and I am scrambling out with all my might and main. The direction doesn't seem clear as before; the essays I produced seriously with immense effort ended up with poor result. I am tired. I have to admit that when I think of the sight of contempt from my schoolmates, and my father's friends's belittlement, I feel worse. I am already, I think, doing everything I possibly can to achieve a good result. One of my classmate I do want to defeat her, and she is just, you know, much cleverer than me; must I admit that. Things go wrong, future grows shorter, and present gets worse.

Well there was a talk, which relaxed me a little today, a MP of Cambridge, Julian Huppert came to our school. Interesting meetings.

Hope things will go well. I am tired. It is not very late, but I have to sleep. Goodnight.