The Great Gatsby

It is another simple and plain day that I should be grateful for. I have enough food, a vegetarian sub, nice little box of fresh milk, and juicy blueberries newly arrived from Spain. Oh, yes, I had a cup of decent hot coffee to start my day. The weather is rather sunny. I have the chance to stay in the very peaceful corner of the library at the edge of Fife, where the crawl of war has yet to reach. I have books to read for fun. I appreciate my life and I am contented. 

I've finished the Great Gatsby, well to be honest I failed to find it inspiring after seeing the movie. I had a chat on Daisy and Tom a couple of days ago with Vika, her discovery of Tom being a boring and common character kind of stuck in my mind. yes, I agree, Tom is just one of those many rats that you can easily spot from the crowd in Oxford Street. Tom seems to be a rather metropolitan figure, that, he would not simply exist if there is no city. I can hardly picture Tom from a village, this is just surreal. 

Enough of Gatsby, my grades are declining, and academically I am not doing well. I do not know what to do, I am strained and stressed but I seem to fail to find out a door within this labyrinth. 

I am now able to spell my friends' name out here, thanks to Jerome, my ego dwindled and become psychologically more balanced. 

Be optimistic

My naivety is built upon a beautiful speculative future we would share if you were willing to. the reality that you did not even bother to give me the answer, or allow me a chance to give it a go, make my wishful thinking stay alive. However, I've never pictured a flat rejection from you; that is perhaps the beauty of tragedy of my naivety. 

I still keep thinking all the possibility of my life, though I cannot spot on an exact moment of the beginning, perhaps there is not a moment. time flows from the very beginning without consulting us. It is this, wishful optimism prompt me to keep thinking about you. The hope of you answering me has perished long ago. the anticipation of bumping you again somewhere in the future, however, has not been excluded. this will probably continue till I die.  the unknownness allows my castle of dream and wish stays on the cloud of possibility and future indefinitely. 

but sometimes, I question myself, I shout at myself, Em, where are you. That does not seem to be that vital no more, since I did not expect you to come to me. My wish has now entirely been relied upon my open future, or the intricate destiny. the only thing I have is not a faith I have faith in all possibilty

Often it comes to mind that I should get a train ticket to Aberdeen. I would wander around Aberdeen, and I may probably see you somewhere when I open the door in a second-hand bookshop. haha, laugh at me if you want, yes, I have seen too many films with too much imagination. Yet this is indeed the my  hope at very depth of my heart. In light of the usual romantic-comedy plot, I shall perhaps reencounter you at a cafe and find out you are engaged. But in my little world, I guess I will see you in the street among the crowd. But my imagination stays at the particular moment, I do not know the upshot. 

Emily, I am disable of describing how much I miss you. When I said to Clarence, I genuinely believed that, even though you were quite bad-tempered in Kathmandu, I cannot imagine another girl whom I will love more and share so many interests with me. Do you remember we hummed the Vienna Wood Waltz in the Valley? There is so much love. I used to be subtle, but now I find no need. I just hope that you will come back to the trajectory my life very soon. Now, despite the existence of facebook, we have never been so remote, and you seem to be living into a different world.