Be optimistic

My naivety is built upon a beautiful speculative future we would share if you were willing to. the reality that you did not even bother to give me the answer, or allow me a chance to give it a go, make my wishful thinking stay alive. However, I've never pictured a flat rejection from you; that is perhaps the beauty of tragedy of my naivety. 

I still keep thinking all the possibility of my life, though I cannot spot on an exact moment of the beginning, perhaps there is not a moment. time flows from the very beginning without consulting us. It is this, wishful optimism prompt me to keep thinking about you. The hope of you answering me has perished long ago. the anticipation of bumping you again somewhere in the future, however, has not been excluded. this will probably continue till I die.  the unknownness allows my castle of dream and wish stays on the cloud of possibility and future indefinitely. 

but sometimes, I question myself, I shout at myself, Em, where are you. That does not seem to be that vital no more, since I did not expect you to come to me. My wish has now entirely been relied upon my open future, or the intricate destiny. the only thing I have is not a faith I have faith in all possibilty

Often it comes to mind that I should get a train ticket to Aberdeen. I would wander around Aberdeen, and I may probably see you somewhere when I open the door in a second-hand bookshop. haha, laugh at me if you want, yes, I have seen too many films with too much imagination. Yet this is indeed the my  hope at very depth of my heart. In light of the usual romantic-comedy plot, I shall perhaps reencounter you at a cafe and find out you are engaged. But in my little world, I guess I will see you in the street among the crowd. But my imagination stays at the particular moment, I do not know the upshot. 

Emily, I am disable of describing how much I miss you. When I said to Clarence, I genuinely believed that, even though you were quite bad-tempered in Kathmandu, I cannot imagine another girl whom I will love more and share so many interests with me. Do you remember we hummed the Vienna Wood Waltz in the Valley? There is so much love. I used to be subtle, but now I find no need. I just hope that you will come back to the trajectory my life very soon. Now, despite the existence of facebook, we have never been so remote, and you seem to be living into a different world.