fourth of april.

Today my brain seemed not working I guess it must be the incessant exhaustion engendered in these few days. I am very unsatisfied with the progress I made.

In the evening I lost my focus for half an hour. I was depressed and frustrated and frightened. I imagined the happiness when gaining the admission to Cambridge, and the smiles from my parents. I blamed none but myself, for my incapability of studying well, my lack of intelligence. Whereas, the notion that my parents are working damn work and spending all their money on a not very clever son, plunged me into a very depressing and perplexing situation, positively speaking, this notion helps he press ahead, with a belief that one day I can prove to the people who despise me and my parents that their perception to us are nonsense. Only when I encourage myself thinking of this way, I regained the power to carry on my work.

I don't know what more I can say. Loads of work waiting for me tomorrow. Good luck and never give up.